Accepting reality is a tough skill to develop and one that I practice every day and don’t necessarily expect to master. On the other hand, practicing this skill daily has absolutely improved my capacity in these ways:

 

• Remembering that everything is temporary.

• Noticing a negative thought and not identifying with it.

• Noticing a negative feeling, and not dwelling on it.

• Letting go of past negative beliefs.

 

This central skill is a powerful mindset that transcends into thoughts, feelings, and actions into balance and objectivity. We are bombarded with so much stimulus each day, a lot of it being distracting, and a lot of it being negative, we put a lot of energy into managing those triggers. That is energy wasted. Although I’ve been working on this skill for many decades through various types of meditation, relaxation techniques, exercise, and many of the other positive habits described in this book, I have to again mention and give all credit to one individual who really gave me the most powerful, yet most simple, breakthrough. That is Michael Singer, best-selling author of The Untethered Soul. “Mickey,” as he is referred to by those who have known him longest, has an uncanny ability to simplify the totality of the experience we call life. I don’t expect anyone to reach the same conclusion I did at first read, but I do encourage you to stick with it, and take a listen to his talks, read his books, and practice some exercise in his books.

 

The one “mantra” or saying that changed my perception about temporary defeats, failures, losses, and anything else that might be categorically placed in the negative column comes in the form of a question and statement (I like both):

 

Can you handle it?

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You can handle anything.

 

This question and statement can be attached to anything:

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My dog died.

My partner left me.

I ran out of money.

I was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

I was fired.

I am stuck in traffic and late for a very important meeting.

 

The key insight and teaching as I have come to realize is being able to take any situation and assuming that I can handle it. Sometimes this means taking some slow deep breaths, relaxing, and slowly breathing out while simultaneously reminding myself “You can handle this.” Doing this for two, three, or five minutes has the power of putting you back in a relaxed state (nothing magic here, you are calming your nervous system), and accepting reality. Reality, simply put, is that which is happening in the present moment that you have no control over. Your choice is to accept it, or resist it. If you resist it, you will experience all kinds of distress.

 

The Exercise:

Expose yourself to some of Michael Singer’s work. I can just about guarantee you will laugh deeply and fully at least once and feel very light-hearted.