We all fall somewhere on the continuum of risk aversion, or better stated, fear aversion. A whole lot of desensitization training (practice) is what is required to build courage, confidence, and the will power to face fear head on for purposes of taking educated, calculated, and well strategized risks for purposes of up-skilling yourself.

 

A dear friend of mine, Guiseppe, grew up in the countryside of southern Italy. Our friendship was born out of online tutoring in pursuit of my mastery of conversational Italian. You wouldn’t know it now, but he started out working picking olives and fruits from beautiful groves in his town. If he had remained in this small town mentality (nothing against agricultural workers) he would not be a college graduate from a prestigious school in London with a degree in Forensic Science. He is breaking into the cybersecurity world, and my prediction is in a few short years he will be successful and happy beyond his wildest dreams—with the caveat that he is already happy and successful. He is a perfect example of someone who steadily increased their risk tolerance in a measured strategic manner. He left home. He moved to a foreign country. He took out student loans. He learned English. He worked online teaching Italian. He graduated and is likely able to live anywhere he wants in the world with his lovely fiancé. You can see how he took gradual steps and risks. I would say what he possesses that a lot of people resist is an “opportunity mindset.” Opportunities are neutral as long as they are true. For example, if a job is posted that’s a real opportunity. You may get it or not, but it’s real. On a larger scale, if a market exists, that’s an opportunity. Someone will fill that space and succeed. Why not you? This is where discipline, practice, peer support, and goal driven action become the outline to overcoming your particular fear of taking a small or big risk. There is nothing wrong with being afraid. We all have fear. Most of our fears are irrational. If you can learn to ride a bike, you can learn to overcome any fear. I used to be terribly afraid of heights. I still don’t like them. But, I hired an ice-climbing guide, and he led the way up 160 feet of ice on a beautiful climb called The Ribbon in Colorado. I followed. That was quite liberating and now I’m much less afraid of heights, and in fact find them to be quite thrilling.

 

The Exercise:

Pick something you are afraid of. Ask someone you trust, or if possible, someone on your team at work how they have been successful in overcoming a particular fear. You can keep the specific fear private, unless someone wishes to disclose. The purpose is to identify that this is a universal experience, and to learn how others have overcome their fear.