It always surprises me how often incredibly smart people tell me that they are unsure of themselves, and feel like they suffer from what people like to call “imposter syndrome.” My first question to them is to ask them what they think imposter syndrome is. They struggle to answer it. I tell them that somebody clever made up the word, but that there’s really no science to it. It would be like me telling someone they have Problematic Delegation Syndrome because they don’t delegate well. Nonetheless, people struggle with the notion that they have somehow finagled their way into a leadership role. I ask people to tell me how they did so, and they proceed to describe unique skills, outcomes, and promotions. Likewise, I re-frame it back to them and ask them if that sounds like an imposter, or someone who has worked hard, and strived to continue to be better. Asked and answered. There are simple sayings to get out of such a negative mindset. Here’s a few to help you get grounded in reality instead of a distorted set of irrational beliefs.

 

• Nobody knows everything.

• You’ve been asked to solve a problem that no one else has the solution for yet.

• You’re responsible for this team/department/division/organization because we believe you’re the best person to lead it.

• Everyone who is successful asks for help.

 

With this out of the way, the question then becomes: How do we improve our confidence? Confidence comes from three places:

1. Knowledge.

2. Applying the knowledge effectively.

3. Self-Awareness of 1 and 2.

 

When you’re the smartest person in the room on a particular subject matter (or one of the smartest), you should be confident. If you struggle with having a voice, that’s a different problem (See Assertiveness Chapter), but it’s not confidence. Want to build your confidence? Here are two tasks to help: First is to learn more about a particular subject with the objective of being a subject matter expert. When you know a lot about something, you feel confident. Second is experiential confidence. You have to push yourself into zones of discomfort for short periods of time. Why? This gives you a full neuropsychological experience of “I can do this!” I recently challenged a coaching client of mine to run up a few hills while on his afternoon walk. Aside from the obvious health benefits, I wanted him to improve his tolerance for discomfort, and have a sensorial experience of succeeding with something he perceived as challenging. The results were immediate. It just works.

 

The Exercise: Pick a subject matter which you wish to master in two years. That’s somewhere between 500 and 1000 hours or learning. Build a self-directed learning curriculum. Become an expert. Then teach what you know.